My Un-Dream Adventure

so i haven't blogged in a few days because i was hospitalized. i started having severe pain in my left abdomen under my rib upon waking up friday morning and thought it'd go away. i was due for my period so i thought it was just cramping. however, the pain didn't listen throughout the day. i had nausea spells and later and later on that night the pain turned into stabbing pain and i could barely move. my friend took me to the er. i hate the doctors just because i dont have money to pay for any medical care.

i get there and wait an hour and a half. interesting er patients = 2. one guy in handcuffs with a wrap around his head talking with the police officer about his kids and listening to them bullshit like they were old bar buddies. the second a schizophrenic.

get my room and they give me morphine. more and more. she gave me over 8mg of morphine and it still didn't get rid of the pain and i weigh 115 lbs. meanwhile as she's treating me, a shrill scream of he has a gun and a big commotion, my nurse leaves (the door open which was about scaring the shit outta me thinking some raging killer would enter my room and kill me). apparently, the police officer left him and he had 3 guns on him and the police officer had to shot him and ended up killing him.

http://www.kirotv.com/news/20411211/detail.html

and the schizo next door was slamming and throwing shit around talking about earthquakes and talking to himself about how they're [the nurses] killing him.

i had a cat scan, pelvic exam, tons of blood work (i hate needles), lab work and a couple sets of x rays and i was diagnosed with pancreatitis.

http://www.medicinenet.com/pancreatitis/article.htm

they gave me laudanum and morphine for the pain. i couldn't have any liquids or anything for over 24 hours. the pain went down after 48 hours. my friend's mom came to visit the first day. the second night my friend told me he would come visit. we're practically dating but without the ties. anyway, he kept texting me he would. and he never did. which is sadly, characteristic of him. however this time was enough. he promised me he'd never leave me alone in a hospital again (yes, i'm accident prone so i'm there once a year at least) but he did.

he chose to go to a party and get drunk and do mdma (not that I should lecture about drug use...). not that i have a problem with drugs but well, i just wished i was more important than having a good time. especially when he knows i dont have family to come visit and especially when i told him id let him come over alone and not invite other people to be with me that night.

let's just say that was the final straw out of many. i guess i'm the fool again for allowing those horrible mistakes in the first place and letting him get away with previous acts that have left me feeling shitty. i'm too nice sometimes.